🫠 Surviving Another Useless Meeting

A guide to zoning out gracefully while looking engaged

We’ve all been there.
You join a meeting that could’ve been a three-line email. You smile, nod, say “good point” twice — and mentally plan your grocery list while someone presents a 47-slide deck about “synergy.”

Welcome to the performance art known as corporate alignment.

1. The anatomy of a useless meeting

It always starts the same:
Someone says “let’s quickly sync” — a phrase that guarantees it won’t be quick.
There’s small talk, a recap of last week’s recap, and one brave soul asking, “Do we have an agenda?” Cue awkward silence.

By the 30-minute mark, everyone’s pretending to take notes while checking their phone under the table.

2. The meeting characters we love to hate

• The Over-Talker: Needs to hear their own voice to survive.

• The Idea Repeater: Just rephrases what someone smarter already said.

• The “Let’s Circle Back” Guy: Never circles back. Ever.

• The Silent Observer: Says nothing. Probably the most productive one there.

3. How to survive without losing your mind

🧘♀️ Perfect your “thoughtful face.” Tilt head. Squint slightly. Nod slowly. You look deep. You’re not.
💻 Keep a decoy tab open. Something with graphs. Makes you look busy and strategic.
🕰️ Time your input. Say one smart sentence near the end — bonus points if you start with “Building on what was said…”
🍷 Post-meeting ritual. Reward yourself for surviving corporate theatre. You’ve earned it.

4. The SayLess truth

Not every meeting deserves your brain cells.
Some deserve only your Wi-Fi connection and a well-timed nod.
So the next time someone says, “Can we jump on a quick call?” — remember:
You’re not being paid to waste time. You’re being paid to survive it — in style.